Proud Woman

"I punched him!" Me and Babe doing our scene for V-day.

Last Friday we put on our own version of V-day. Unfortunately not the actual Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler, but we put together an impressive collection of poems, monologues, scenes, and even a song. I had the glorious opportunity to perform in three separate acts: An empowering slam poem by the amazing poet Mayda Del Valle entitled "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" (youtube it, her performance is incredible), a rather silly little scene about 12 year old girls and love with Babe (ridiculously fun and intended to lighten the mood between intense pieces) and an incredibly heart-breaking and difficult duet from the actual Vagina Monologues with Bella. All about genital mutilation and its effects on the individuals who suffer it, the duet was so difficult that I literally took out my contacts and left my glasses off so I wouldn't have to look anyone in the eyes while I spoke those words about pain and loss and being a woman in the worst possible sense. I cried. And for those of you who don't know, crying is one of my least favorite things in the world to do, let alone to do in front of people. The performance was so intense, even depressing I almost wonder why we did it. Why do we put ourselves and the audience through that kind of emotion? Here's what I've come up with as an answer:

We do these things because they're real. Because these are real issues that people need to deal with and figure out how to handle. Everyone's going to handle them in different ways but they need to be handled. Whether you join an organization or actively do something in your own community or others, or even handling these problems the world has in your thoughts and prayers, confronting and handling them isn't an option.

Productivity

I find myself being distinctly unproductive lately. What I mean is, I spend my free time watching tv, cleaning my room, writing e-mails to my mom, working on poems and skits for the upcoming Vday (pictures and remarks forthcoming), watching more tv, napping, and really doing nothing when I should be working on papers, doing homework, preparing things for class and dance production.

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted."

Very true John Lennon but what about when I waste all that time when I really need to be doing things productive to my college education?

Is it really terrible that I don't always give my all to everything, when I'm giving my all to something more enjoyable or just letting myself be lazy?

Is my un-productivity really a problem or is it just my way of prioritizing?

Untitled as of yet

Someone told me that my very own Romeo was on his way,

And that got me thinking Romeo knew Juliet a single day

Before he proposed

What did he really know about her?

“Soft, what light through yonder window breaks,

It is the East and Juliet is the sun”

Kinda sounds like

“Damn, that chick’s fine.

I gots to get me some of that, hun!”

But your infatuation

With watching me from the shadows

Of some tree my family planted

Back before this rivalry had gone crazy

Kinda seems like you just like the situation

Of being able to objectify me

Of looking at me without my knowledge

Without my consent

Of being able to stare

Then act like your voyeurism isn’t wrong

‘Cause “Baby I’m a man!

And damn, I’ve loved you so long”

When don’t you act more like Mercutio

Be in a perpetual state of stoned

Or do what Benvolio says

And just go on home

Seems to me you could even take a lesson from Paris

In how to treat a lady

He might not be so strong

So tall

So dashing

So daring

So big and manly and muscular

But he knows a thing or two

Like how to talk to someone

And tell them the truth

He might not be blinded my beauty

But he pays attention to my mind

Even your own Mercutio

Has some kind of clue

Seems to know about wooing a woman

A little better than you

He might make jokes

Like a woman would never dream

Speaking of his bauble,

His tale,

His pump

His bawdy hand

Which might thus strike noon

When he casts an eye upon my loveliness

Which you say you love

He may not speak with words of love

Vows of undying devotion

But he does not lie

He does not put his false feelings

Into deeds and words

He stands straight up

And declares his seediness

While you hide yours

In shadowy orchards

And under professions of amor

So go, tell your Romeo,

His “I love you” is a little too belated

Maybe I’m just jaded

But I don’t want to be your Juliet

How do you know you love me?

Fool, we just met

Maybe I’m not your typical

Size two

High-heeled shoe

Short skirt

Tight shirt

Full-breasted

You know, big-chested

Baby doll

Sugar pie

Honey bunch

Treat me like a baby because my mind isn’t strong enough to take care of itself

And stare at my body ‘cause from the neck up sure isn’t worth your time

Bimbo

But Juliet never appealed to me

You don’t love me

You just think I’m pretty

And Romeo,

Oh Romeo

There’s so much more to love

Honey, you don’t even know

Goals

There are not enough hours in the day, days in the week, weeks in the year to accomplish all the things I want to do with my life. So...we're prioritizing children!

Well...we're making a list at least.

Things I Want to Accomplish Before Graduation 2013:

-Theater Major

-An Abroad, preferably England

-Something with Mass Comm/Photography

-Be musical in some form

-Live with Babe more

-Sleep....

-Feel better about myself

-Find the perfect temperature for sleeping

-Write successful poems/monologues of my own

-Make some kind of difference for someone

-Travel

-Get a new laptop (sorry cammie, you're just getting old)

-Be an RA

-Be on a house board

-Expand my movie & music collections

-Perfect my morning coffee/mocha recipe

-Find an actual job

-Figure out some semblance of a plan for life after college....no specifics, but a basic outline would be nice

New Year's Resolutions

Every year, I contemplate the possibility of making actual New Years Resolution. I think, "it would be a good idea to...fill in the blank." What? lose weight, meet new people, exercise more, watch less awful tv?

This year I'm making the commitment, going the distance, these resolutions are getting made!

-Stop trusting first impressions

-Enjoy the little moments

-Cuddle more

-Get rid of labels (She's not the overly skinny blond bimbo, she's a woman, with positives and negatives like everyone else)

-Stop giving food so much power

-Be more outgoing (I don't care if it's cliche)

-And yes I would like to lose some weight, but it's the healthy body image I'm really concerned about

House-sitting

I spent the last weekend house sitting for an older couple that I know from church. While I need the money for school and the job causes me no physical pain, after about a day or so, it starts to drive me a bit crazy.

There's nothing to do and the antique clock collection keeps me awake for hours when all I want to do is sleep. It's insanity-inducingly dull.

DMV

Today I went to the DMV to get a new driver's license. Since I've turned 18, I needed a new license that would remove the restrictions of an under-18 license. I went in, gave my old, unexpired license to the lady behind the counter and explained what I needed. After looking at my license for a moment, she sighed deeply and mumbled "Allright, but I'll have to make you a new license."

I'm sorry? Did I miss something?

Isn't that why I'm here?

To get a new license...right?

I gave her my information again, took another picture, and waited for her to finish.

There were no problems with this interaction. The woman was pleasant enough and I got my license. I was simply puzzled by the seeming lack of willingness to be helpful. If I asked for a new license, doesn't it make sense that's what I expect to get?